A Passage from My Love

'When you are in love with someone; you are in love with
yourself.'

This part of my life is called happiness. I realized
that 'Love' is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a
human being. It feels even more beautiful when love embraces
us at the age, when tenderness wakes us up everyday, to find
things anew and equally feel it to be so; where our world is
carefree, filled with no hard responsibilities. I was 18. I was lucky.

That was a cloudy day. Sun was hiding in the sky. May
be, the Moon proposed and the Sun is hesitant to come out,
because they need to meet inevitably at a point on that day.

Anyways we had to meet. He asked me to be at
the beach by 5o'clock in the evening. I know, I was going to
hear what I always wanted to hear from him, because I loved
him even before he had traces of it on me.

I arrived.

Instead of thinking how he would propose to me; I was
thinking of the days I used to cross his classroom to look
at him. Finding him in a class of 50 students was not at all
difficult for me, because most of the time he was made to
stand out of the classroom. But, I always found it difficult
to fix my eyes on him when he looks at me. I don’t know
whether it is a matter of courage or it is the universal way
of expression. This happens at least five times a day. I get
back to my class but at all the moments inside, I will be
desperately waiting to get outside.

Thunder and lightning strike their chords in the sky and
the beach is beginning to empty out. But how could I walk
away from there? I was waiting. Thank God for the human
brain and its storage capacity. I went on thinking and
'smile' became a part of my waiting as the memories made me
blush.

I am a dancer. Even before I saw him, I had a strong
feeling that all my moves and gestures would be translated
into only one emotion: My love for him. I don’t know how i
knew that, but I realized it the moment I realized that I
love him. So that must be something deep rooted in my soul.

We had a grand celebration function for our school’s 25th
anniversary and I was supposed to dance. I agreed for it
heartily just for the reason, he will see me dancing, which
was the one thing I always wanted to be as an expression of
my love. I practiced hard all the nights till the day of the
event. All the time I rehearsed, I was joyous that my feet
was moving in harmony with my heart, my heart was able to
acknowledge my soul and thereby I was in contact with the
divine. It was bliss.

I imagined myself performing on the stage and he was the
only audience. I danced, danced and danced for a long long
time and I never felt exhausted, as I could feel him loving
to see me dancing.

After all the rehearsals and imaginations, the day to
dance dawned.

To suppress all my happiness and shatter all my dreams of
that moment; he was not present on that day. I ran away from
the school; hiding myself so that nobody can figure me out
and disappeared. I didn't dance.

Tears kissed my cheeks, even as I was thinking about it,
standing at the shore.

Time was half past five but he didn't arrive yet. Looking
around me, I could find only an handful number of people, as
the climate was dulling out. Before I could feel happy, for
we will be together in a small crowd which I didn't think is
possible in a place like the sea shore, I was put to fear,
as people were being sent out from the beach. It seemed that
something was wrong and that the climatology department had
warned people to stay out of the shore. I looked around
myself and to the longest sight I can have, he was not
present.

The men in charge of clearance neared me and my
heart started to rush. 'They will send me away. How can I
resist them? They need no explanations and even if I could
give one, I will be called a mad. Can I pretend like I’m
moving? Oh! All my life I was waiting for this day.'
I called him immediately.

His mobile went ringing but he did not answer the call.
He wanted to say his love for me
there and I knew that. Those men, whom I feared nearing,
were talking to me. I could not listen to what they were
telling. My mind was preoccupied with desperation. But they
vacated me from that place eventually.

I tried to talk with him but yet again he did not pick up
my call.

It was lightning. From my childhood days, I am a scary
child to thunder and lightning, but by then, I was all alone
facing them.

The common human tendency took hold of me for some time
as I was walking out from the beach. I was complaining
within myself as why nature should not be kind with us and
help us with a smoother situation rather than the one which
was tormenting us. But fortunately, I had the control of my
mind at once and without being lost in such a thought which
would have probably led me to a state of obsession, I held
back. 'All is well', I thought to myself.

I heard people who were rushing out, chanting that there
is a probable chance of tsunami to hit the coastal areas
that evening. On hearing it, I wanted to talk with him.

My mobile rang and I, for a second lost control of it in
a rush and dropped it down on the ground. I fell down on my
knees and grabbed it at once. Wiping off the sand that
covered the mobile screen, my eyes were wandering to look at
his name on it, and I wanted to know his whereabouts. But,
he and my mother didn't share a common name. My mother was
calling and I was completely blown away. I felt like
shouting out loud and crying; but on the second next, I
preferred to attend the call to not let my mother bothered.

She inquired me of where I was and insisted me on getting
back home at the earliest. The focus of the tsunami news on
every news channel has intimidated her and that was evident
from her voice. To add to her cause, my father was not
picking up her call. 'Irony!', I thought as I hanged up the
call promising my mom that I was safe and I’ll be returning
back home sooner. I had never lied to her. Will that be
broken, I asked myself before I called him the next time.

Nothing changed from the previous attempt: my
desperation, the ringing sound and the recorded voice which
was very considerate to me; but the time. 'Now'.

My father was standing before me and my eyes were taking
a glimpse of him. For a second, I had a doubt whether I’m
living in the present or in a dream. My father was calling
me. I knew for sure that I’m taken home the very moment. And
to my belief, it was done.

He was returning home, his bike was full of fuel, my
mother was waiting for him but yet; he had to stop at a point
in the middle because, it is written. To add meaning to his
act of stopping: God matched it, with me roaming around at a
place where he could see me.

I was taken from there.

My mobile rang. It was him. I was sitting behind my
father and I feared to attend it. The ringing continued, as
my heart was skipping few of its beats and was rushing at
few. My eyes were wandering in search of him. When the call
is about to be cut, I saw him and he saw me. I had to turn
my head to look at him because, I had crossed him. He was
looking at me fixed. I did not know what I thought that very
second, I jumped from the running bike. It was completely
blank for me having my eyes closed. I opened it and
confirmed that I was still alive. Fortunately, the road was
empty due to the caution announced and I had jumped from the
bike which was traveling at a speed nearing 10kmph to
eventually stop because my dad for the first time heard the
sound of his mobile ringing.

He was trembling in fear seeing my act. I got up to make
him sure that I was completely alright. But before that, I
turned around to find a smiling face. I gained more
confidence on seeing it.

I went closer to my dad and told him that what I did
might seem ridiculous to him because he had no knowledge of
the reasons behind it. And that love saved me, just like it
saves each and everything in this universe. I comforted him
and told him that I will be back home safely, not to worry
about me. I did not ask for his permission to leave him then
and run towards my destiny but, I told him in a way, that he
believed my words from nowhere instead of all the threats
being thrown at the city.

Till now, I don’t know two things: One is who spoke
through me and the other is who permitted me.

I ran back towards him with all the power and might I can
command. I stopped breathless. He took my hands and we were
running.

We were running. 'Yes, we were.'
No one will have the courage to chase us and push us out
from there. Of course everyone is concerned about their own
lives. After all, all these happened just for us to be alone
at the place we wanted to be and this harmony will not be
disturbed because, it is written. I thought within.

We reached the shore and no one was there around us. It
was thunder and lightning again. Holding my hands and
looking at my eyes, he took me to a place where our feet was
touched by the flowing waters. I don’t know the origin but
on their seamless journey our feet was meant to be touched
by them.

The sea was vibrant and the wind was fierce. May be, from
a long distance, there would have been someone, shouting at
us to come out, but we were there together; least disturbed
by anything.

He closed his eyes. I was looking at him. I was not
afraid any bit. I was not perturbed by anything in this
world. I have him near me and I know, I’m safe. I closed my
eyes too. We must have shared one common feeling that
moment. Our souls were united and we were blessed. It was
still.

After a while, I opened my eyes and found that he was
looking at me from a while ago and was lovingly pleased at
my gesture. I smiled at him.
'Do you want to know why I was late to arrive?'
'No'
'Its because, I wanted you to wait for me'
'I know, and so I did'
'Are you afraid?'
'No'
'Can you do something for me; right here, right now?'
'Yes'
'Let me hear or see something which you always wanted me to know'

I was taken aback by what he asked. I smiled. I cried.
The incident which immediately brushed across my mind:
the day, where I was crying, hiding myself inside the
bathroom, knowing that he did not come to see me dancing.

I decided to dance.
'Can you see me dancing?'
'I would love to'
'Yes, everything happens at the right time at the right place.'

I took some steps back. Nature played the music for our
love. I danced to the tunes of the free flowing waters. And
as I danced, the clouds opened up and started to
shower upon us. I remember me thinking: I am losing control
of myself and that he will be able to see my body. What
matters? I love him and I’m expressing it in the way I love.
I felt naked and was never ashamed, because I wanted him
to see me like that.

My feet was moving. I was constructing something inside me
and sending it out to the open air. I lowered my body. My
hands were touching the ground. I realized that I can do
anything for him. I moved to his right; I moved to his left;
I went encircling him and I was making love with him then and
there though our bodies didn't meet. The waters were wetting
my legs again. The sole of my feet received something from
somewhere. Oh! I was in him. I found love.

When I was tiring out at a point, I decided to go fall on
him and I did likewise. He took hold of me. Looking at him,
from a distance which is always needed for love to blossom
forever, I said
'I felt that I looked beautiful while dancing'
'You were not wrong anytime.'
And after some moments of silence, he said
'I love you', and his breath touched my body.

I was living and all because of him.

We are alive as I’m writing this on 22nd February 2018, about the
incident  that happened on 20th May 2013. May be our
love stopped tsunami from hitting our city on that evening.
If we could prove it, we will claim the government for the
space, where all the sharing of our love happened, to be
ours.